


Ghosts

by Catsarecutebutaliens



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Don't copy to another site, Drabble, F/F, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Memories, Pearl is sad, Post Change your mind, and missing Pink, does this count as angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 15:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17510852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catsarecutebutaliens/pseuds/Catsarecutebutaliens
Summary: All was well, or was it?





	Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> "I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you." - Lord Huron, The night we met.
> 
> I heard this song and saw the episode and this is what happened. Enjoy.

All was well, wasn't it?  
  
Pearl should be happy, and she _was_.  
  
Everyone was safe, her family was back on earth, healed and so full of joy it made her heart ache.  
  
But as minds do, they wander. Late at night, when everyone, even the gems for once, was asleep. Warm ocean winds were flowing around her, carrying the smell of salt and distant memories she had never truly forgotten.  
  
Rose.  
  
Her Rose.  
  
Pink.  
  
She was gone, and only now her death, her eternal silence, was certain.  
Losing her the first time had been hard, it had shaken her to the core and hurt like nothing before.  
  
Falling for her had been so easy. She was a diamond, yes, but she was _so much more_ than just that. Pearl couldn't help but wonder, couldn't help but hold on to the thought of _what if_.  
  
_What if_ Greg had never come into their lives?  
  
_What if_ she had never fallen in love with him, had never wanted to bring Steven into existence?  
  
_What if_ they had never found earth in the first place?  
  
Would they have been happy? Had there ever been the possibility of a happy ending for the two of them?  
  
Pink's death had hurt, but questioning hurt more. She loved her friends, her family. She loved Steven more than anything.  
  
"You know, Pearl," and there it was again, _her_ voice, talking to her Pearl, "You meant everything to me. Maybe we could have been forever, but you need to let me go."  
  
Unsaid words swirling around in her head, it was nothing more.  
Wishes, hope. A yearning for a different time.  
  
The winds carried her tears away and her hands buried themselves in the mountain grass beneath them.  
  
"I'm a ghost, Pearl, nothing more than a memory."  
  
She knew, god, she knew, how couldn't she?  
  
"I can live with that," Pearl whispered and knew she was lying in the same breath. No one could live like that, no one can live with a shadow.  
  
The fullness of space was breathing above her and for once, it didn't scream home. Home was earth, was this house and the beach and the pink shards floating in her room. Home was Steven.  
  
For a moment, fusing with him had felt familiar, as if Pink had been back. Rainbow Quartz had always been them, a Diamond and her Pearl, together against all odds and rules. Now it had felt new and exciting and so unlike herself, she wished it had never happened. Nothing had prepared her for knowing, really _knowing_ , that Pink was gone.  
  
"Pearl."  
  
Another whisper and another tear, both lost in the night.  
  
"Why did you do this to me? We had everything."  
  
It was her own words, broken and small and so, so helpless.  
  
Pearl heard wind and water, she heard her sobs and cries, she heard the wood of the house and the trees around her and, if she listened very, very closely, she could hear Steven breathing, alive and well.  
  
She could hear everything but not _her_. Just silence.  
  
There would never be an answer and maybe it was time to accept that.

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely love Pearl's development, don't get me wrong, but sad and angsty and heartbroken Pearl still owns me.


End file.
